Why Modern Life Makes you Anxious and How to Calm it
From looming deadlines to social pressures, everyday stressors can trigger our body’s natural alarm system, leaving us constantly on edge. While some level of anxiety can be helpful, too much makes it difficult to relax, leading to mental and physical exhaustion and burnout.
I remember – from my previous job – that checking emails before sleep was a terrible idea. I still did it though. And when I saw that email which needed a response the anxious thoughts would begin…
Does this resonate with you?
Read on to discover how consciously engaging with your body, can help you to calm the stress response, control your emotions, and calm anxiety.
“A bit of stress can propel us toward greater productivity..but if we’re constantly stuck in high alert it feels impossible to calm down”
What is anxiety?
The same system that allows us to survive traumatic experiences, can also manifest in our everyday lives as anxiety.
We can view anxiety as part of our natural fight or flight stress response.
But though it’s protective, it hasn’t evolved much since we needed to fight off predators hundreds of years ago! It certainly hasn’t evolved to cope with our modern culture.
Our stress responses can be triggered daily through normal – albeit stressful –activities. Neuroscientist Dr. Wendy Suzuki, says that a bit of natural fear can power us toward greater productivity.
This makes sense when you imagine doing a big presentation in the same state as watching Netflix!
So, staying alert can propel us to act when needed. But too much is bad for us.
If we’re constantly stuck in a state of high alert and fear, we can feel it in our bodies – it feels impossible to calm down and relax. This is chronic anxiety.
Anxiety and modern life
The story of Dan (a fictional client) illustrates how stressful modern life is, and how it can trigger our natural threat responses.
Dan’s nervous system fired into high alert the moment he opened social media. His heart rate spiked, pupils dilated, and muscles tensed as he scrolled past perfectly curated lives. His amygdala – the brain’s fear centre – registered the images as a threat – not of physical danger, but of not measuring up. A notification appeared: "You’ve been tagged in a photo." His sympathetic nervous system kicked in, flooding his body with adrenaline. His breath became shallow, his palms damp. He was mobilised for fight or flight. But there was no real enemy, just pixels on a screen.
Creating an everyday anxiety-relief routine
Remember Dan….
Sensing the overload, Dan fought to restore balance. To engage his parasympathetic nervous system, he inhaled deeply – four counts in, four counts out. Slowly, his heart rate settled, tension eased, and he could think more clearly. He stood up, stretched, and walked away.
It’s possible to manage anxiety by creating habits that help you to respond to everyday stressors. Here are two powerful ways to calm anxiety:
Breathwork
Slow deep breathing e.g. box breathing, activates the relaxing part of the parasympathetic nervous system, helping your body to return to a calm state. This can be done anywhere at any time.
Why not try this simple routine whenever you can fit it into your day.
Breathwork (2–5 minutes)
Start your morning with a short breathwork exercise to signal calmness to your nervous system. Try box breathing:
Inhale for 4 seconds
Hold for 4 seconds
Exhale for 4 seconds
Hold for 4 seconds
Repeat 4–5 times
2. Movement
When you move your body, neurochemicals including dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins are released. These boost your mood in a positive way, making it a natural antidepressant.
A short session of movement – around 10 minutes – is enough to benefit from mood enhancing neuro chemicals and reduce anxiety.
Any movement is good. Bursts of quick movement such as power walking can be done in the moment that anxiety is felt.
Gentle Movement (5-10 minutes)
Wake up your body with gentle movement like stretching, or just moving your legs and wiggling your toes. This helps increase circulation and releases endorphins to boost your mood before the day begins.
Quick Movement (10 minutes)
Sitting for long periods can build tension and increase stress levels. Take a break for movement that suits your space and energy level:
Power walk
Jumping jacks
Dancing to a song you love
Breath Awareness (1–2 minutes)
Before returning to work or daily tasks, take a moment to check in with your breath. Slow, deep breaths activate the parasympathetic nervous system, helping you reset and refocus.
Final tips for success
Be flexible: This routine can be adjusted based on what works best for you.
Start small: Even a few minutes a day makes a difference.
Listen to your body: Choose movements and practices that feel good and fit your lifestyle.
By integrating these simple practices, you can create an ongoing routine that supports your emotional balance and overall well-being.
Final thoughts…
In a nutshell, anxiety is a natural response designed to keep you safe, but in today’s world, our nervous systems struggle to differentiate real threats from everyday stressors. From work pressures to digital overload, we’re constantly triggering the same fight-or-flight response that helped our ancestors survive.
Breathwork and movement are simple, accessible tools that allow you to reset in moments of stress. A few deep breaths can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, bringing a sense of calm, while even a short burst of movement releases mood-boosting neurochemicals that help regulate your emotions.
The key is consistency. Small, intentional actions can create profound change over time. So next time anxiety arises, remember: your breath and your body are powerful tools to help yourself back to calm.
If you’re curious about how EMDR therapy could help you to process the root cause of stress and anxiety and manage it, then please feel free to contact me.